2AmericansTravel: November 2017

Growing is uncomfortable. No way around it. These past few months for me have been very uncomfortable and I am finding myself better for it. Get too comfortable and you become stale.

My "I'm all hopped up on pain killers" Smile

My life has changed drastically in the past couple of months and I have had very little time to reflect on it. Now, sitting at a Panera with hours to kill until my next flight, seems like as good a time as any. New Zealand is beautiful and I wouldn't trade the last couple months for anything, but anytime life changes drastically, stress and growing pains pull at your psyche. I need to shed the weight of these past few months in a healthy way and writing it down just might give me that release.

I can't help but feel that my strength is being put to the test, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Physically I tore my ACL about a month after moving to New Zealand. It's the first sign I've had from my young body that I won't always be so. Anyone who has had this injury knows it is a slow healing one. In my case the entire ligament was torn and needed surgery to repair. In a simple instant, my beautiful knee gave out on me and it will take months of recovery to get back. Counting my blessings, I found myself in a town with amazing surgeons and a great support network of friends willing to visit me when I was bound to crutches. Already I am able to hike, bike and swim. Soon I will be able to run and there is my strength.

Knee Rehab = Bike bike bike!

Emotionally I have been tested in many ways. Moving means the heartbreak of leaving loved ones, leaving the familiar, and the fear of stepping out into unknown territory. In my case moving meant becoming the solo owner and lifeblood of my business. Jeremiah got a new job to support our residency and it is now down to me if our company succeeds or crashes and burns. In the past 3 months I have been faced with lost clients, a patent legal dispute, and 2am calls to keep our US supplier relations healthy. In that time I have replaced the lost clients with newer better ones, maneuvered through the patent dispute utilizing the business network I've developed, and have learned the value of good communication. I am learning to love being a woman entrepreneur in the outdoors business world. There is my strength.

Spiritually I am as broken and humbled as ever. Being humbled is an amazing place to be. It is here that you can truly access the spiritual. When I am on my knees, I am grounded and reminded of how miraculous it is to stand. On my most recent flight, I was a bit saddened because a missed connection in Nelson meant that I missed an entire weekend that I was supposed to spend at my best friend's bachelorette party. However I was humbled once again when the woman who was to sit next to me walked onto the plane shaking in tears. Her mother had just committed suicide and she had been traveling all day to get back home to her husband. In that moment I saw my troubles clearly and was humbled again. I couldn't offer much but I gave her the consoling words and pats on the arm and all the love I could muster. Praying silently I asked for comfort for her in a time where she could barely move. Here is my strength: my strength is in the Lord, in the humbling moments, in the heart wrenching ones.

My first trip back into camping at Apple Tree Bay

In all this time of growing, I suppose there has been one area that has been comfortable. In my love for Jeremiah, I continue to grow. Our lives have been hectic and unpredictable. In this we have grown so much closer. My certainty in the love of my life continues to root as the vines of his love entangle this heart of mine. His is the love I never want to miss. Here is my strength.

I am so thankful to be coming home to the US to see family and spend the holidays. To see the faces of those I love after several uncomfortable months of growing. And I can't help but believe that after a season of growth, I will soon see fruit - full and good.